Tuesday, August 16, 2016

So Busy Doin' YOU

I've reached my limit. Not my limit in pushing through my own challenges or dealing with what life throws at me. No, I've reached my limit and my tolerance to hearing about ALL THESE SOLO BOSSES...


YEEEEAH, RIGHT. 
You know the ones. The ones whose circle is SO small that there's only room for them in it. The ones who just grind SO hard with no one's help, no assistance, no support...just a Drake-like determination to "do it, do it, do it by themselves..."   Yeah, those solo bosses. 

The problem with this self-published narrative, this autobiographical mythology, is that it is deceptively dangerous. 

...and so I begin my real rant!

Pretending that we're the oooonly ones out here battling for our success and that we do not require nor have ever received support works to do three things: 

1. Devalues the efforts of our true support system - those who know us and know how they helped and supported us, have the right to "feel a way" (as the kids say) or feel swept aside, when we publicly pretend we did everything ourselves. We know we didn't and they know we didn't. Bring on the "side eye"-- we deserve it. 

2. Prevents us from acknowledging our need to rest - If we do it all ourselves, then we also can never take a pause and regroup --or else we'll lose all the ground we gained in our pursuit of our goals. Or rather, we can't allow OTHERS to see us pause and catch our breath because they may perceive us as losing ground. Keeping up appearances requires that we keep going, even if we're dying inside. No Bueno. 

3. Prevents us from being a help and a support to others - If WE didn't need anyone, why should we lend a hand? Those folks should help their OWN -self! Right? Wrong. If we tell that false story of how we are "self-made," we close ourselves off to the possibility of being a true mentor and friend to someone else. The truth is that we need a team of people who are like-minded and who have our best interests in mind. We find them, first and then we become that for the next one. 

We ALL need other people. No one can make it, anywhere, on their own. Whether we are in school, living in a regular family or building a business (read empire), the best outcome relies on our having a strong and positive support system. 

What's a support system? It's a shoulder to lean on, business partners, school counselors, wonderful parents, thoughtful mentors and really good friends. 

So, go ahead with all that "my team is only me, myself and I" stuff. Be real and recognize your people! 

For every photo of ONE man reaching the summit of a mountain, there is a team of 100 people, who supported him to help him get there.